Just to recap, in case you were wondering, Dita von Teese is a burlesque actress that had a brief shall we say marriage stint with Marilyn Manson. Now she is cashing in on the whole sex sells concept to launch an activist moment. Yes, sexy can even sell A-B-C. No, not kindergarten letters. A – Animal, B – Birth, C – Control. Yup, go spay or neuter your pet because I look hot in this lingerie and heels getup. What is the point even of animal birth control? The dealio is that up to 4 million animals a year are put to death because they can’t find good mommies and daddies to take care of them. So by spaying and neutering, you eliminate the problem before it starts. Now see THAT makes sense, but I’m still not getting the point of the ad. No, I mean, AT ALL.

Poor poor Keira Knightly. Yup, she’s feeling sorry for herself again. This time it’s not because she’s beautiful, this time it’s because she’s too thin. Yeah, she hates red carpet events because people actually put in writing how crappy one looks. Or they gripe about how thin someone might be. But she assures us, she has self-esteem issues too, that ‘skinny people are allowed to feel shit about themselves’, that she doesn’t own a scale, and has no clue how much she weighs. Here’s a thought, why don’t you EAT something then, Keira? Then maybe people wouldn’t make fun of you for looking like an idiot stick figure. Doncha just hate it when noone feels sorry for the skinny girl? Life is rough when you don’t have real problems to complain about.

Well, not something that she normally practices, but Halle Berry has had to look into getting some security detail. We are talking around the clock here. She has been the not so happy recipient of some anonymous musings with a distinct racist slant and with distinct threats, not just implied, but given. I am not sure how many she’s received, but one such letter mentioned something to the effect of how she and her child would be ‘cut into hundreds of pieces’. While we don’t know the exact details of the threats other than that, the consensus seems to be that they stem from the fact that Halle has a white mother, African-American father, and the father of her child – Gabriel Aubry – is white. While this kind of thing actually does happen to celebrities quite often, police are in full investigation. In the meantime Halle has beefed up her security team. And as idiotic as the individual sending these is, it must be very scary for her. Just what every pregnant woman needs, a psycho racist stalker. Sheesh! We hope they catch this wingnut for you, Halle!

WHAT did you just say? That’s what Katie Holmes said just a second before this shot was taken. Which must have been her response to Tom Cruise just letting her know about some wee renovations around the Colorado mansion. (I will assume she is the sane one in the family) Renovations such as what you ask? Oh you know, just a teensy tiny $10 million dollar underground bunker, honey, no biggie. The kicker is the why. Well you know, I could make a joke about his reason is that the evil deposed galactic ruler ‘Xenu’ is planning an imminent revenge attack on the earth. I could, but I wouldn’t be joking. It’s just a simple hideaway basically, small $10 mil underground system to keep up to 10 people alive for SEVERAL years and away from the evils of Xenu. No, Tom hasn’t exactly gone Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs, or maybe he has, I don’t know. But according to the Metro UK, he ACTUALLY needs the bunker to hide from Xenu, a belief apparently endorsed by Scientology. Phew, thank god. And here all this time we’ve been worrying about nuclear destruction for NOTHING when threats this large are imminent.

Yes, she’s been making a few headlines lately because it seems people are just NOW deciding that maybe she’s not the most attractive woman in the world. Ok, maybe she’s not, but let’s give the girl some props for looking how she does at her age – mid 40’s I believe. She’s got a figure many women would die for and *most of the time* looks pretty pulled together. This is also the same woman that can pull off a $40 outfit from her Bitten line and pair it with a $1500 Chanel bag. Gotta love it. Here you are looking at some recent shots of her in what may be some scenes from the shooting of the Sex and the City movie, but there’s a lot of hush hush on that, no official word as of yet. She’s a pretty driven woman, so gorgeous or not, I don’t think this is the last we will hear of her.

This past weekend Kate Moss let the catfight out of the bag with Sienna Miller. She’s had it up to her Chanel earrings with Sienna’s **whatever it is** with Rhys Ifans. And that’s not all. The two and many of their mutual friends were celebrating at the wedding of Rose Ferguson and artist Jake Chapman this weekend and after a few of the sippy toasts, Kate Moss made it known that she’s a little peeved with some of Sienna’s antics of late. She started off by ripping into Sienna, essentially calling her a style thief or copycat or something and isn’t happy that Sienna is trying to steal ‘her look’. And she’s not all that happy with the amount of time that Rhys and Sienna have been spending together. Later on, she fought with Rhys on the phone about it when she and some pals went to another champagned party and intentionally left Sienna, but not Rhys off the invite list. I think the word screaming was actually used for that one. Gal pal Sadie Frost intervened asking all parties to call a truce if for the evening alone. Whatever is going on there, I have no clue. But Rhys is a longtime friend of Kate’s and she is NOT happy with Sienna mooching in on the little circle of friends. So if Rhys and Sienna continue this little *thing* that they are, then we can probably expect to hear more of catfighting Kate in the future.

I guess it’s not enough that George Clooney’s GF Sarah Larson is you know, George Clooney’s girlfriend as far as getting fame is concerned. I mean, that’d be just about enough! But she’s on the fast track to get her name a little more noticed since people have been talking about her and George in the motorcycle accident last weekend. Dare we say she’s pulling a Vanessa Hudgens? Hmmm… Yup, some photos have turned up that show Sarah in some very provocative poses with a friend during a promotional modeling stint in Amsterdam two years ago. Maybe she doesn’t quite get the big picture. Georgey boy is not exactly with her because she’ll be up for a Nobel prize or Best Actress statue anytime soon. She’s a former cocktail waitress from Vegas that made her dabloons by wearing practically nothing and she met George at an Ocean’s 13 premiere party at the hotel she works at. Oh, and she’s a former Fear Factor contestant. Yup, that’s right, you have to know that anyone that would eat horse’s butt for money is missing some brain activity. So, my thoughts are, you can put out all the racy lesbo pictures that you want. Sarah Larson, T minus 15 and counting, your splash in the spotlight is almost over and my guess is this little frolic with George is a time limited offer as well. Get it while you can!!

Here is Phoebe Price in Beverly Hills on Monday showing off all her uh, celebrity glory. The actress and model is arriving at the Ivy for some lunch and took some time to pose for photographers before she went into the restaurant. Though I think this girl might be missing a few bars from the brainiac meter I think it’s possible that she’s just clued in to the fact that she is not exactly A-list at the moment. She happily brought a slew of mags with her to show the paps to prove just how famous she is. And yes, that included the shots where she fell into the worst dressed category. Is anyone surprised she’s hit that list at least ONCE? What is going on with this outfit? Never mind, I don’t actually care THAT much.

Image: Pacific Coast News