Photograph: Kevin Perkins/ Gaz Shirley, © PacificCoastNews.com

Ok, so it doesn’t look like a Jennifer Aniston post, but it IS a Jennifer Aniston post. Kind of. What is the deal with Bradley Cooper? We spend so much time talking and wondering about how lonely and sad Jennifer Aniston is, so much so that ‘Aniston sources’ are constantly talking about her obsessive text stalking with Player Mayer, that we have lost sight of the fact that she may actually be going out and having a life behind our gossiping backs. And it seems she has, and Bradley Cooper is part of it. And, depending on how far their ‘relationship’ is, it may look like she’s got another player in her deck of cards. Because it seems that now that The Hangover and He’s Not That Into You have cemented Bradley Cooper’s movie star status, so many doors have been opened to him, specifically the door to every 40-year-old single actresses’ bedroom. With Jennifer Aniston’s number still hot in his pocket after they went out for a romantic Italian dinner a few weeks ago, the 34-year-old took Renée Zellweger out for a romantic Italian dinner in New York City on Tuesday. So busted. People may be a little distracted with all these celebrity legends dying, but c’mon Bradley. It’s Aniston. We know. Bradley and Renée co-starred in the recent rom-bomb New In Town and have a thriller called Case 39 in the can, so they may have just been talking business. But not according to the army of people that spied on their dinner. A restaurant patron told People that Bradley pulled out Renée’s chair and paid for the bill with his newfound movie-star money. Meanwhile, another nosy neighbour told Us that Renée was twirling her hair, which is the international signal for “fall in love with me.” Renée seems to have learned nothing from her Bridget Jones-esque track record, which includes a four month marriage to Kenny Chesney and a breakup with Jack White that left her crying on the streets of Toronto. Bradley’s still “talking” with Jennifer Aniston, aforementioned Aniston source tells People. Hopefully this will be settled peacefully, and not in some sort of violent, neck-swiveling, “Boy Is Mine”-style musical number. As an actor, I really kinda like this Bradley guy, so was kinda rootin’ for him and Jen, but it sounds like he’s stringing along famous chicks like a Jonas Bro. Ladies—sounds like he’s so not worth fighting over. Especially because he’s probably already making reservations for his romantic Italian dinner with Susan Boyle.

Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

Sadly it did not take long after Michael Jackson was pronounced dead for the world to gasp in collective shock at the loss of an icon. The death of the King of Pop has since been compared in significance to the death of Princess Diana, and like any major iconic loss, the world is mourning and remembering. Here you are looking at the montage that took milliseconds to appear on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at the Michael Jackson star, and this is one montage that keeps growing and growing, only to be rivaled by the mountain that has appeared at the gates of his home, the Neverland Ranch. And like many deaths of icons, more and more news on the life of the King of Pop has surfaced since his death. And it is no coincidence that his death has sparked more questions than answers, as this seems to be exactly how he lived his life. Will we ever truly know or understand what really happened during his lifetime? There are many things better left unsaid at this point, but as it stands now, Michael Jackson does have some heirs to his throne. And since his estate is worth many million dabloons, the truth behind the genetics and his heirs may play an important role here. The most interesting question right now that remains to be under a lot of speculation as wills prepare to be read and so on are, who ARE Michael Jackson’s children, and did he ever really father ANYBODY? If you were to base your answer on information from the 2003 documentary Living With Michael Jackson, then you might consider the truth that his children were conceived using Michael’s own sperm. But then, Michael said a lot of things. He said his youngest son Prince Blanket was the product of a relationship he had with a black woman, despite the fact that he’s clearly white. He also said that when his daughter Paris was born, he stole her and ran out of the hospital before the doctors had even cleaned the placenta off her. Unfortunately, the second claim is more convincing.
This is all a long way of saying that Michael did not actually father any of his children. According to Us Weekly, his two oldest children, Michael Jr. 12, and Paris, 11, were fathered using sperm from dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein, who was Debbie Rowe’s boss. Says a friend of the family:

“He is the dad. He and Debbie signed an agreement saying they would never reveal the truth.”

In death, Michael has left a final clue that his relationship with Debbie Rowe was about as romantic as his onscreen antics. In his will, which was written in 2002, he specifically notes he “intentionally omitted” Debbie. Debbie maintains she was the mother, which is believable, although I don’t know who they were trying to fool by getting married. Even the people who thought Adam Lambert was straight were like “please.” He left his estate to a family trust to be managed by his mom, Katherine Jackson. He also asks that she care for his children, and if she should not be able to, that they be raised by Diana Ross. Ah yes, Diana Ross, an interesting twist to the whole charade indeed. As it stands now, Katherine Jackson has custody of Michael Jr., Paris and Prince until August 3, when a case will be heard to give Katherine permanent custody. I guess that makes the most sense, and was what Michael wanted. But if Joe Jackson starts using them to market blu-rays, I’m asking Emmanuel Lewis to intervene. Is this the real legacy of Michael Jackson?