Who Moon? Who Cares?
You would almost think there were only two people left in the world the way this movie has generated buzz. If you haven’t read or seen anything, just don’t tell anyone, k? Here we have the star of the hottest movie/book buzz on the market right now, Kristen Stewart at the much talked about LA premiere of “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” held at the Mann Village Theater. Right New Moon, yes people are still talking about that Twilight thing, pretty much what I thought too. So if you haven’t seen it yet, we’ll do a quickie review for ya. Because where would Hollywood be without that old standby, the vampire-werewolf-schoolgirl love triangle? As every Stephenie Meyer fan knows, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” is the one where studly vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) dumps his human girlfriend, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), for her own safety, and she turns to old chum Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) for solace, unaware that he’s a werewolf, and therefore Edward’s sworn enemy from way back.
What fans are about to find out is that critics, present company included, don’t care much for this adaptation of the second in Meyer’s “Twilight” series. With Chris Weitz taking over as director, the second movie has exactly what those fans want: Big, bouncy boy hair. Sculpted torsos everywhere. Teasing caresses of fingers on fingers, lips on lips. Love so deep and frenzied the smitten would prefer to die than go on without the other. Torsos, did I mention torsos? Most important, not just one, but two supernatural hunks snarling over the quivering carcass of a breathless, doe-eyed young woman. Swoon factor times two.
For anyone who has not sworn the blood oath of undying allegiance to all things “Twilight,” here’s a few issues with “New Moon”: It’s really two half moons, or two halves of a movie that don’t quite fit. It’s unfathomable how two different sets of monsters could fixate so completely on her. All three lovers are almost joyless, it’s hard to imagine why any of them would want to spend eternity together. They’re here for two more movies, though, so they must be doing something right.
Photo: Tuukka Jantti, PacificCoastNews.com
