Photograph: © Adrian Varnedoe, PacificCoastNews.com

You almost just want to say…give it a REST. One difference between John Mayer and your average joe is when he has a “what did I do last night?” morning, it shows up as a magazine cover story a few months later. That might be due to the fact that other than his relationship with Jennifer Aniston….that we remind you has been soooooooo over for QUITE some time now…he doesn’t have much else exciting going on in his life. And even he seems to know it as he can’t seem to stop talking about this aforementioned relationship, despite the fact that it’s pretty darn clear that Jenny has moved on…and on…and on…approximately 17 times now. This time he ranted out 7000 of some of the most outrageous words ever to cross a celebrity’s mouth to Playboy magazine over a glass of whisky or nine. And Jennifer Aniston might want to pick up a copy. For the articles, of course. Yes, he’s STILL talking about the breakup. And since the rest of the paparazzi have become completely bored with it, it seems that Playboy is about the only one that will let him moan just that much longer. The reason he begrudgingly broke it off with the star of Leprechaun may have had a lot to do with their nine-year age difference.

“I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.”

Sorry you had to read that, Mr. Aniston. Oh wait, Norman Aniston can’t read. And no, Jen didn’t appreciate it when John told a gang of photographers that he ended it. But he can TOTALLY explain. Writers for the major tab mags were bombarding him to the point where he couldn’t tell if an In Touch writer was stalking him or if he had just gone literally crazy.

“I haven’t slept. I’m about to go blind–you know the phrase blind rage? All I can remember is that I was about to lose my vision. My emotional tissue was about to tear. So after I left the gym I said ‘come here’ to all the reporters and paparazzi. I was on the verge of crying and also on the verge of punching someone.”

But instead of crying and punching, he instead announced he’d dumped Jen “because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right.” It was a little bit too much honesty, not just for gossip-trackers, but for the ex Mrs. Pitt as well. “It really, really upset her,” John said. “I wanted to take responsibility for having ended it because I saw it as such an offence. But a lot of people felt I was saving face.” He compares breaking up with Jennifer Aniston to “burning the American flag,” although realistically, Americans probably care more about the idiot that let Jennifer Aniston get away. Considering how openly he’s revisiting this territory, it would seem he hasn’t learned anything about discretion (elsewhere in the interview, he says Jessica Simpson is “sexual napalm” and that he’d like to do something sexual with TMZ founder Harvey Levin that I didn’t even know existed until I was 17). Maybe that’s because he thinks that, like himself, Jen’s stuck in the ’90s when it comes to handling her fame. She thought he was courting too much attention by using Twitter, a public forum, as his personal brainstorming pad, while John tried to convince her to take her public image more lightly.

“I said, ‘Tom Cruise put on a fat suit. That pretty much sums up the past decade: Tom Cruise with a comb-over, dancing to Flo Rida in Tropic Thunder. And the world went, ‘Welcome back, Tom Cruise.’ You have to show that you don’t take yourself seriously.”

Jen’s probably right not to listen too intently to John, but maybe she should have heeded his advice on this one thing. People might quit insetting her picture into photos of Brangelina if she joked around about it a little more. It couldn’t be any more uncomfortable than seeing her face on the magazine rack every time she goes to the gas station. *eyes rolling* are you done NOW, John?

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Well here we have Mr. Player Mayer spotted leaving The Hard Rock Café in Picadilly London after performing a gig for a small crowd, and we all know that by the looks of it, he has seen better days. Yes, the effect of Jennifer Aniston rubbing off of anybody is only going to be beauty and sunshine, so perhaps this downtrodden look has something to do with the woes that sources are saying he is having over her. Yah, you have to know that when you dump Jennifer Aniston, there are likely to be some side effects of that, since she is one woman that just about any man in the world would do anything for. And it sounds like John Mayer is having some second thoughts about his relationship with her, and wants her back. Are we supposed to be sad for him? Well, uh, maybe he shouldn’t have dumped her. They could be rolling in People magazine baby-photo money by now if he hadn’t made that fatal relationship error. But we know the elusive Aniston, if there’s anything that I’m sure Jennifer Aniston appreciates at this point, it’s people talking about her romantic life. Not. But it sounds like Johnny Boy is having second thoughts, and even has a mixed message for his ex-girlfriend in the new Rolling Stone: he’s still heartbroken over the end of their relationship last March, but says Jen is not his “ideal” partner. Well, sure, but Angelina’s already taken.

“I’ve never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life.”

But, as he told the paparazzi the first time he dumped her, he’d rather be a great friend than a bad boyfriend.

“What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f–king fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”

Now I see why Jen does yoga. His “arc over the horizon”? What does that even MEAN? But like all men, John is just so frustrating. He only likes his celebrity conquests when he doesn’t have them. That worked out well for him with Jessica Simpson, because every time he dumped her she would just wear lower necklines until she was basically accompanying him to his fancy galas without a top at all. But Jen’s in her 40s. She only has to be dumped once (ok maybe twice) to get the message. So even though John tells Rolling Stone he can’t wait to meet his soulmate so he can stop putting so much mental energy into dating, I don’t think that’s going to work out for him. The things he wants are impossible. Someone can mail me an honourary doctorate of psychology.

Jennifer Aniston is seen here looking a little confused, and while she may *look* as confused as the rest of us when it comes to her love life, here she is simply working on the set of her newest film “The Baster” in Los Angeles. And if you are confused about what is going on in the game of love with Jennifer, I think it is safe to say at this point anything is likely by now. Nobody really knows and so it may well be that nothing is happening of interest. But it still seems like either way there is quite a bit of talk about it. The news is either completely dead on the subject, or she really is revisiting things with Player Mayer. But how can that be if Jessica Simpson is saying the same thing? So it seems then that the woman once married to Brad Pitt is now in a love triangle with John Mayer, and Jessica Simpson’s boobs. While Jen has been trying to move on with a series of clandestine dates with “nobody famous” arranged through mutual pals (specifically CoCo Arquette), reports continue that she’s been sacrificing her dignity in exchange for secret hookups with John. The singer, meanwhile, has never fully gotten over what he calls the real love of his life. “For some sick reason, John’s still in love with Jessica,” a source says. Well, ladies, it’s official: thinking is out this winter. Today, on when tabloid stars collide… During a sit-down interview with Details at the celebrity-stacked Chateau Marmont hotel, John Mayer had the weird experience of running into one of the Jennifer Aniston also-rans, Gerard Butler. He excused himself to go meet the action star. Some notes comparing maybe? Seems like a good potential date for 20 minutes of Jennifer Aniston ear-burning. But John says otherwise.

“We talked about New York. We’re in a bit of the same position of being branded womanizers.”

Huh. I wonder why that would be, Player Mayer. He then put the conversation on hold to conduct some emergency iPhone-ing. Is there an App for that? And in reality it seems that Jennifer is really saying “John who?” and would rather date “nobody famous” than him. Well, this is certainly worth making a big deal about as she was then seen at Heathrow Airport with Orlando Bloom. They share an agent, but do they share saliva? They’ve spent time together before, when they both attended a wedding in Mexico for someone from their Creative Artists Agency. Alas, Orlando was joined in Morocco by his girlfriend, Miranda Kerr, where the supercouple and Jen were attending a party for the Mamounia hotel. I wish Jen and Orlando were dating. Orlando could use the attention, and Jen could use the action.

Photogragh: Kevin Perkins/ Gaz Shirley, PacificCoastNews.com

We all know that Jennifer Aniston can have any man she wants, well, except one, but I have a hunch she is soooooo over that one. And it can not be a wrong assumption to presume that even she knows she can have any man she wants, so why does it always come out that she is this desperado? Are the rumors true, does she bring it on herself, or are people just being mean? Who knows. Us Weekly seems to think that she just can’t get over Player Mayer in the fast and efficient manner we would all like to see. But as we know, if nothing else, Jennifer Aniston is a creature of habit, so tells us the hairstyle that she has had for about a thousand years. And now, Us Weekly is reporting that she has jumped back into the arms of her on-again-off-again love, musician John Mayer. Says their friend Close Source:

“He’s really got to her, and she’s hooked on him. She just can’t let go.”

Let go Jenny, let go. This is like the romantic equivalent of Groundhog Day. It’s high time she washed that man right out of her albeit unchanging but highly-coveted hair. And if it’s not Player Mayer that she is wanting to crawl back to, Us Weekly is also insinuating that she is trying to make some connections with her ex husband Brad Pitt. The term drinking and dialing was used recently when it was said that she tried to call his cell phone, only to be surprised by his current non-wife but life partner Angelina. After a night of too much Merlot, it seems that Jennifer’s judgement was more than a little clouded and Brad boy got the ol’ ring. But Aniston got the “shock of her life”. Of course Close Source doesn’t know much more than that, but this call may have been pre-empted by news that Pitt and Jolie are not actually living in bliss anyway. Pitt is widely rumoured to be going through problems with Jolie. He was said to summon his ex, Aniston, to his New York hotel suite on a recent trip where he promoted green issues with US President Bill Clinton. Aniston’s representative, however, later denied the report. So who knows what is to become of Jenny’s love life. One thing is for certain, we all do love to talk about it, and though her crush of the day may change, us wanting to dish about it is not subject to change any time soon.

Photo Source: Kevin Perkins, Gaz Shirley

Here we are seeing Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler doing what we’ve known them to do best lately…work. On set of “The Bounty” it seems that their natural chemistry is working well for a rousing game of good guys and bad guys on the set of The Bounty. And this chemistry is so palpable, it’s no surprise that the two have carried their sparks on set to their off set schedules as well. Oh yes, Jennifer and Gerard have become chummy enough while shooting “The Bounty” that she doesn’t mind if he uses her backside as a hand rest. But did the co-stars, who have repeatedly denied hookup rumors, take the touchy-feeliness to demonstrative new heights over dinner Wednesday

“They appeared incredibly affectionate with one another. They were kissing, hugging and leaning in to talk to each other for over two hours! They definitely looked like a couple.”

Or did they? Another version of events has emerged, “Rashomon”-style, and this one has a lot less PDA and a lot more dinner guests. Radar Online says that Jen, 40, and Gerard, 39, were joined by a quartet of friends at a table on an outdoor patio, where a big-eared bystander heard them talking about the paparazzi contingent lying in wait outside. “They enjoyed a friendly dinner with each other,” notes the restaurant’s manager. “Jennifer is so lovely, and she and Gerard were not holding hands and I didn’t think they were a couple, just friends having dinner together.” At the end of the night, the actress and the burly Scottish star exited separately in true Aniston couplehood modus opperandi, with the former hopping into an SUV with her bodyguard and the latter zooming off in his Mercedes. Aniston, who is currently out stumping for her forthcoming romcom, the unimaginatively titled “Love Happens,” reportedly headed home, and, much to the disappointment of the shutterbugs, Butler didn’t follow. This latest outing comes several weeks after Jen and Gerard were supposedly spotted “hand-in-hand” while hanging out at a New York hot spot, a snuggly sighting her spokesman dismissed as fiction. It sounds like the only one that is making any actual sense on all of it is Gerard But Butler, who last year cheekily responded to rumors that he was dating Cameron Diaz by saying, “If I take my dog for a walk, apparently I’m [bleeping] my dog,” insists that he’d be the first to spill if he was dating Aniston.

“If I was. I would say I was.”

Because who wouldn’t, right? Exactly.

Photo Source: Edward Opinaldo

Here is one girl that never stops looking fabulous no matter how much time passes, and it seems like another consistency of hers is that she never stops keeping us guessing. What is the real story behind her and John Mayer? Hard to say here, but my educated guess is that they are soooooo over and that people just enjoy spinning rumors about them because she hasn’t given us anything more interesting to talk about that’s real. But that’s Jennifer, she realllly likes her personal privacy and doesn’t give away too much too soon. But here she is seen leaving her trailer on the set of her latest movie “The Bounty” where she costars with hunk Gerard Butler. She is looking smashing, and happy and relaxed in a patterned maxi dress and flip flops, and a little bit of bling on her arm. Yes, this is the same watch that has been seen quite a bit lately, and she’s been wearing it almost constantly on set with Gerard. And the latest rumor, by our good friend Close Source, is that this watch is a Rolex that John Mayer gave her during their time together. This rumor continues by insinuating that with Jennifer wearing the watch again, the two are nearing another on again period.

“John gave Jennifer the Rolex when they were at the height of their romance in May 2008. Jennifer hardly took the watch off, but when they split she stopped wearing it. In recent weeks she’s started wearing it again to show John he’s still in her thoughts. She’s even been sending him flirty texts and emails.”

You have to know that Close Source must be running low on material if we are getting the same word that the flirty texts and emails keep coming and going. This is one relationship that has had more on again and off again bumps though, that one can never tell. Apparently John is an avid collector of Rolexes (my heart bleeds) and by her wearing his Rolex again, and being photographed with it, she is sending him a ‘sign’ that she is still in love with him. It’s apparently all part of her master plan. Close source added:

“Jennifer’s plan is obviously working - John is a keen Rolex collector and Jennifer knows how symbolic the gesture is to him. He’s been replying to her with racy pictures and emails. It’s only a matter of time before they officially announce they’re back together.”

Or maybe it’s just a matter of time before Jennifer finds a new watch. Maybe she just likes the watch, huh? Maybe there is no such thing as a master plan, and she just doesn’t want to waste a good Rolex. Just a thought.

Photo: PacificCoastNews.com

Jennifer Aniston is seen here with her most recent co-star, hunky hunk hunk Gerard Butler as they film a scene for their latest movie ‘The Bounty’ on the streets of New York. And it looks like it’s going to be a fun one! This movie is about a bounty hunger whose next target seems to be his own WIFE, and in this scene Butler and Aniston are seen pulling up to the curb in a car then Butler leads her into the police station in handcuffs. And since these two have been making headlines on more than just their movie, this good guys and bad guys scene leaves all KINDS of things to the imagination. As it seems these two have been spending a lot of time together off screen, almost as much as they have been spending on set as well. Things got a little handsy between Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler after dinner and drinks Saturday night, and it sounds like they are practicing their kissing scenes during their spare time. The news about extra-curricular kissing between Jennifer and Gerard is turning out to be a real thing. Who could have guessed? They continued their P.D.A.-athon with a hand-in-hand date Saturday night. They were seen having cocktails and holding hands at The Jane Hotel in Manhattan’s trendy Meatpacking District on Saturday. Earlier that night, they ate at “rustic American” restaurant Freemans. But this news should be of no surprise to any of us. The coupling up has been a long time coming. They first flirted at the Park Hyatt hotel at the Toronto International Film Festival last year, and while they did follow it up with a dinner, Jen wound up going back to John Mayer. Clearly there’s only so much advice Courteney can give. Now that Jen and Gerry are filming the action-comedy The Bounty together in NYC, it seems business and pleasure have been a good mix for them. Earlier this month, Gerard said he’d thought about dating Jen.

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it. But I’m having a great time just working with her.”

Three weeks later and Gerard is living the dream that every man in America won’t admit to having. These two could be really sweet together–taking strolls on the beach, doing tequila shots under the stars, Jen crying uncontrollably while Gerard beats up the paparazzi. Well, the last one wouldn’t be so adorable, but the rest would be. For the cynics, I am aware that Jen is on the cover of Us this week being cast as the bitter victim of Renée Zellweger’s man-inizing, and that this relationship’s reveal is suspiciously timely. But c’mon–cut the lady a break. At this point, even a fake relationship is encouraging. Aaron Carter has expressed interest. Don’t let it come to that.

Photo: Edward Opinaldo

Photograph: Kevin Perkins/ Gaz Shirley, © PacificCoastNews.com

Ok, so it doesn’t look like a Jennifer Aniston post, but it IS a Jennifer Aniston post. Kind of. What is the deal with Bradley Cooper? We spend so much time talking and wondering about how lonely and sad Jennifer Aniston is, so much so that ‘Aniston sources’ are constantly talking about her obsessive text stalking with Player Mayer, that we have lost sight of the fact that she may actually be going out and having a life behind our gossiping backs. And it seems she has, and Bradley Cooper is part of it. And, depending on how far their ‘relationship’ is, it may look like she’s got another player in her deck of cards. Because it seems that now that The Hangover and He’s Not That Into You have cemented Bradley Cooper’s movie star status, so many doors have been opened to him, specifically the door to every 40-year-old single actresses’ bedroom. With Jennifer Aniston’s number still hot in his pocket after they went out for a romantic Italian dinner a few weeks ago, the 34-year-old took Renée Zellweger out for a romantic Italian dinner in New York City on Tuesday. So busted. People may be a little distracted with all these celebrity legends dying, but c’mon Bradley. It’s Aniston. We know. Bradley and Renée co-starred in the recent rom-bomb New In Town and have a thriller called Case 39 in the can, so they may have just been talking business. But not according to the army of people that spied on their dinner. A restaurant patron told People that Bradley pulled out Renée’s chair and paid for the bill with his newfound movie-star money. Meanwhile, another nosy neighbour told Us that Renée was twirling her hair, which is the international signal for “fall in love with me.” Renée seems to have learned nothing from her Bridget Jones-esque track record, which includes a four month marriage to Kenny Chesney and a breakup with Jack White that left her crying on the streets of Toronto. Bradley’s still “talking” with Jennifer Aniston, aforementioned Aniston source tells People. Hopefully this will be settled peacefully, and not in some sort of violent, neck-swiveling, “Boy Is Mine”-style musical number. As an actor, I really kinda like this Bradley guy, so was kinda rootin’ for him and Jen, but it sounds like he’s stringing along famous chicks like a Jonas Bro. Ladies—sounds like he’s so not worth fighting over. Especially because he’s probably already making reservations for his romantic Italian dinner with Susan Boyle.