Apparently John Mayer Has Just One More Thing to Say About Jennifer…
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010Photograph: © Adrian Varnedoe, PacificCoastNews.com
You almost just want to say…give it a REST. One difference between John Mayer and your average joe is when he has a “what did I do last night?” morning, it shows up as a magazine cover story a few months later. That might be due to the fact that other than his relationship with Jennifer Aniston….that we remind you has been soooooooo over for QUITE some time now…he doesn’t have much else exciting going on in his life. And even he seems to know it as he can’t seem to stop talking about this aforementioned relationship, despite the fact that it’s pretty darn clear that Jenny has moved on…and on…and on…approximately 17 times now. This time he ranted out 7000 of some of the most outrageous words ever to cross a celebrity’s mouth to Playboy magazine over a glass of whisky or nine. And Jennifer Aniston might want to pick up a copy. For the articles, of course. Yes, he’s STILL talking about the breakup. And since the rest of the paparazzi have become completely bored with it, it seems that Playboy is about the only one that will let him moan just that much longer. The reason he begrudgingly broke it off with the star of Leprechaun may have had a lot to do with their nine-year age difference.
“I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.”
Sorry you had to read that, Mr. Aniston. Oh wait, Norman Aniston can’t read. And no, Jen didn’t appreciate it when John told a gang of photographers that he ended it. But he can TOTALLY explain. Writers for the major tab mags were bombarding him to the point where he couldn’t tell if an In Touch writer was stalking him or if he had just gone literally crazy.
“I haven’t slept. I’m about to go blind–you know the phrase blind rage? All I can remember is that I was about to lose my vision. My emotional tissue was about to tear. So after I left the gym I said ‘come here’ to all the reporters and paparazzi. I was on the verge of crying and also on the verge of punching someone.”
But instead of crying and punching, he instead announced he’d dumped Jen “because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right.” It was a little bit too much honesty, not just for gossip-trackers, but for the ex Mrs. Pitt as well. “It really, really upset her,” John said. “I wanted to take responsibility for having ended it because I saw it as such an offence. But a lot of people felt I was saving face.” He compares breaking up with Jennifer Aniston to “burning the American flag,” although realistically, Americans probably care more about the idiot that let Jennifer Aniston get away. Considering how openly he’s revisiting this territory, it would seem he hasn’t learned anything about discretion (elsewhere in the interview, he says Jessica Simpson is “sexual napalm” and that he’d like to do something sexual with TMZ founder Harvey Levin that I didn’t even know existed until I was 17). Maybe that’s because he thinks that, like himself, Jen’s stuck in the ’90s when it comes to handling her fame. She thought he was courting too much attention by using Twitter, a public forum, as his personal brainstorming pad, while John tried to convince her to take her public image more lightly.
“I said, ‘Tom Cruise put on a fat suit. That pretty much sums up the past decade: Tom Cruise with a comb-over, dancing to Flo Rida in Tropic Thunder. And the world went, ‘Welcome back, Tom Cruise.’ You have to show that you don’t take yourself seriously.”
Jen’s probably right not to listen too intently to John, but maybe she should have heeded his advice on this one thing. People might quit insetting her picture into photos of Brangelina if she joked around about it a little more. It couldn’t be any more uncomfortable than seeing her face on the magazine rack every time she goes to the gas station. *eyes rolling* are you done NOW, John?










