You almost just want to say…give it a REST. One difference between John Mayer and your average joe is when he has a “what did I do last night?” morning, it shows up as a magazine cover story a few months later. That might be due to the fact that other than his relationship with Jennifer Aniston….that we remind you has been soooooooo over for QUITE some time now…he doesn’t have much else exciting going on in his life. And even he seems to know it as he can’t seem to stop talking about this aforementioned relationship, despite the fact that it’s pretty darn clear that Jenny has moved on…and on…and on…approximately 17 times now. This time he ranted out 7000 of some of the most outrageous words ever to cross a celebrity’s mouth to Playboy magazine over a glass of whisky or nine. And Jennifer Aniston might want to pick up a copy. For the articles, of course. Yes, he’s STILL talking about the breakup. And since the rest of the paparazzi have become completely bored with it, it seems that Playboy is about the only one that will let him moan just that much longer. The reason he begrudgingly broke it off with the star of Leprechaun may have had a lot to do with their nine-year age difference.

“I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.”

Sorry you had to read that, Mr. Aniston. Oh wait, Norman Aniston can’t read. And no, Jen didn’t appreciate it when John told a gang of photographers that he ended it. But he can TOTALLY explain. Writers for the major tab mags were bombarding him to the point where he couldn’t tell if an In Touch writer was stalking him or if he had just gone literally crazy.

“I haven’t slept. I’m about to go blind–you know the phrase blind rage? All I can remember is that I was about to lose my vision. My emotional tissue was about to tear. So after I left the gym I said ‘come here’ to all the reporters and paparazzi. I was on the verge of crying and also on the verge of punching someone.”

But instead of crying and punching, he instead announced he’d dumped Jen “because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right.” It was a little bit too much honesty, not just for gossip-trackers, but for the ex Mrs. Pitt as well. “It really, really upset her,” John said. “I wanted to take responsibility for having ended it because I saw it as such an offence. But a lot of people felt I was saving face.” He compares breaking up with Jennifer Aniston to “burning the American flag,” although realistically, Americans probably care more about the idiot that let Jennifer Aniston get away. Considering how openly he’s revisiting this territory, it would seem he hasn’t learned anything about discretion (elsewhere in the interview, he says Jessica Simpson is “sexual napalm” and that he’d like to do something sexual with TMZ founder Harvey Levin that I didn’t even know existed until I was 17). Maybe that’s because he thinks that, like himself, Jen’s stuck in the ’90s when it comes to handling her fame. She thought he was courting too much attention by using Twitter, a public forum, as his personal brainstorming pad, while John tried to convince her to take her public image more lightly.

“I said, ‘Tom Cruise put on a fat suit. That pretty much sums up the past decade: Tom Cruise with a comb-over, dancing to Flo Rida in Tropic Thunder. And the world went, ‘Welcome back, Tom Cruise.’ You have to show that you don’t take yourself seriously.”

Jen’s probably right not to listen too intently to John, but maybe she should have heeded his advice on this one thing. People might quit insetting her picture into photos of Brangelina if she joked around about it a little more. It couldn’t be any more uncomfortable than seeing her face on the magazine rack every time she goes to the gas station. *eyes rolling* are you done NOW, John?

Photograph: © Adrian Varnedoe, PacificCoastNews.com

Well here we have Mr. Player Mayer spotted leaving The Hard Rock Café in Picadilly London after performing a gig for a small crowd, and we all know that by the looks of it, he has seen better days. Yes, the effect of Jennifer Aniston rubbing off of anybody is only going to be beauty and sunshine, so perhaps this downtrodden look has something to do with the woes that sources are saying he is having over her. Yah, you have to know that when you dump Jennifer Aniston, there are likely to be some side effects of that, since she is one woman that just about any man in the world would do anything for. And it sounds like John Mayer is having some second thoughts about his relationship with her, and wants her back. Are we supposed to be sad for him? Well, uh, maybe he shouldn’t have dumped her. They could be rolling in People magazine baby-photo money by now if he hadn’t made that fatal relationship error. But we know the elusive Aniston, if there’s anything that I’m sure Jennifer Aniston appreciates at this point, it’s people talking about her romantic life. Not. But it sounds like Johnny Boy is having second thoughts, and even has a mixed message for his ex-girlfriend in the new Rolling Stone: he’s still heartbroken over the end of their relationship last March, but says Jen is not his “ideal” partner. Well, sure, but Angelina’s already taken.

“I’ve never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life.”

But, as he told the paparazzi the first time he dumped her, he’d rather be a great friend than a bad boyfriend.

“What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f–king fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”

Now I see why Jen does yoga. His “arc over the horizon”? What does that even MEAN? But like all men, John is just so frustrating. He only likes his celebrity conquests when he doesn’t have them. That worked out well for him with Jessica Simpson, because every time he dumped her she would just wear lower necklines until she was basically accompanying him to his fancy galas without a top at all. But Jen’s in her 40s. She only has to be dumped once (ok maybe twice) to get the message. So even though John tells Rolling Stone he can’t wait to meet his soulmate so he can stop putting so much mental energy into dating, I don’t think that’s going to work out for him. The things he wants are impossible. Someone can mail me an honourary doctorate of psychology.

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Here is one girl that never stops looking fabulous no matter how much time passes, and it seems like another consistency of hers is that she never stops keeping us guessing. What is the real story behind her and John Mayer? Hard to say here, but my educated guess is that they are soooooo over and that people just enjoy spinning rumors about them because she hasn’t given us anything more interesting to talk about that’s real. But that’s Jennifer, she realllly likes her personal privacy and doesn’t give away too much too soon. But here she is seen leaving her trailer on the set of her latest movie “The Bounty” where she costars with hunk Gerard Butler. She is looking smashing, and happy and relaxed in a patterned maxi dress and flip flops, and a little bit of bling on her arm. Yes, this is the same watch that has been seen quite a bit lately, and she’s been wearing it almost constantly on set with Gerard. And the latest rumor, by our good friend Close Source, is that this watch is a Rolex that John Mayer gave her during their time together. This rumor continues by insinuating that with Jennifer wearing the watch again, the two are nearing another on again period.

“John gave Jennifer the Rolex when they were at the height of their romance in May 2008. Jennifer hardly took the watch off, but when they split she stopped wearing it. In recent weeks she’s started wearing it again to show John he’s still in her thoughts. She’s even been sending him flirty texts and emails.”

You have to know that Close Source must be running low on material if we are getting the same word that the flirty texts and emails keep coming and going. This is one relationship that has had more on again and off again bumps though, that one can never tell. Apparently John is an avid collector of Rolexes (my heart bleeds) and by her wearing his Rolex again, and being photographed with it, she is sending him a ‘sign’ that she is still in love with him. It’s apparently all part of her master plan. Close source added:

“Jennifer’s plan is obviously working – John is a keen Rolex collector and Jennifer knows how symbolic the gesture is to him. He’s been replying to her with racy pictures and emails. It’s only a matter of time before they officially announce they’re back together.”

Or maybe it’s just a matter of time before Jennifer finds a new watch. Maybe she just likes the watch, huh? Maybe there is no such thing as a master plan, and she just doesn’t want to waste a good Rolex. Just a thought.

Photo: PacificCoastNews.com

When we see her in public, she always looks and appears so cool and collected, so it is a little strange sometimes to hear of the things that people are accusing her of. Here is Jennifer Aniston seen on the set of her latest movie ‘The Baster’ where she plays a hip 40 year old woman who tries to get pregnant with a turkey baster. And no matter where we see her, she looks great and always comes across as so cool about life, so why all of this drama with the John Mayer thing? In fact, one can’t help but wonder how much of this John Mayer thing is driven up by someone else, or is true drama that goes on and on and ON for weeks and months after a relationship ends. The latest is that she has sparked speculation that she wants to reunite with ex-lover John Mayer after sending him a perfumed good luck note. The word is that she is reportedly struggling to get over her Player Mayer and has good luck messages delivered to the ‘Gravity’ star’s dressing room before he performs. Of course all of this comes from a very reliable source:

“Jennifer sent John a hand-delivered perfumed note before one of his concerts recently. It read, ‘Play well, you always do’. It was sweet. Clearly she doesn’t want to let go completely.”

Friends of the 30-year-old singer claim Jennifer has stayed in touch with John’s brother and believe a reunion could be possible. But these same friends are also linking her romantically to a whole slew of other men, such as ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ co-star Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler (yes, again). And if you want real “evidence” on this case, this same source has said that John hasn’t even been dating anyone else since the split.

Given his nickname that we love so affectionately here, this seems to be a break from his usual pattern of doing things, and may even be a sign of true love on John’s part. Do we want to sigh or gag over this now? This “source” seems to be the only person that thinks neither of them are letting it go, but who knows what in this case. If nothing else, this is one couple that does like to keep us guessing, and it seems they know this as well. So once again, anything can happen, neither of which will be in the least surprising.

Photo: Darla Khazei, PacificCoastNews.com

Hellmuth Dominguez, PacificCoastNews.com

John Mayer is seen here enjoying the single life while dining out at Katsuya restaurant. But is he really enjoying the single life? Seems like ever since he split from Jennifer Aniston he has been talking out of both sides of his mouth, depending on whoever seems most interested in talking to him. One minute he’s single, the next he’s not. It looks like his most recent dating escapade is with a cocktail waitress, who naturally is also an aspiring actress, who goes by the name of Scheana Marie. Ah yes, this must be true love, we all know how those torrid relationships with the cocktail waitresses work, no? Just ask George Clooney. So my prediction here is that she will take what she can get from him, maybe make a few cleverly networked connections, see her little star rise just a smidge, and then they will be back to being as single as they each were before this “relationship”. You have to wonder what is going through a man’s mind to go from Jennifer Aniston to a waitress. If I were Jennifer, my first thought would be, HAH, I knew I was too good for THAT. But sweet little Scheana it seems is all aglow with the buds of first love, and tells all of her cocktail waitress friends at the Beverly Hills Cigar Club Grand Havana Room. She says they haven’t stepped out publicly yet because they are just “enjoying each other”, but again, my guess is that there is less relationship here and more of the something something and this is precisely why John is keeping her “under wraps” so to speak. Because, unless she’s unable to read…or something….John’s other side of his mouth is telling the world just how single he is. He’s even been a little argumentative with the press over it, saying that if he actually had a girlfriend, he wouldn’t deny her publicly because it might tick her off.

“If I had a girlfriend, she would be incredibly offended by me saying, ‘I don’t have a girlfrifriend’. That’s how you can be sure. I could say, ‘I’m not with anybody.’ That’d be a death wish if you were the woman.”

Well, yes, it would, because that’s kind of rude, and this big proclamation must be major news to all of the OTHER waitresses of Los Angeles. But when one has the nickname of Player Mayer, do we really and truly think that he is being 100% honest with us? I wonder just what Ms. Aniston may have to say about ANY of this….if she is smart, anything more than a big ol’ laugh with a *cough* GOOD RIDDANCE will be a bit of a waste of time.

John Mayer reportedly infuriated ex-girlfriend Jennifer Aniston by spending hours on the internet after saying he was too busy to see her. Yes yes, this is the case of another breakup caused by Internet addiction. How many times is it for these two now? The ‘Marley and Me’ star reportedly grew increasingly irritated with the amount of time John spent on social networking website Twitter after telling her he was “too busy” to see her. John suddenly stopped calling her or returning her emails and when she would finally catch up with him, he’d say, ‘I’ve been so busy with work. I’m sorry I haven’t had time to email you back.’ Jennifer was fuming when she looked at the activity on his page. There he was, telling her he didn’t have time for her and yet his page was filled with Twitter updates!

“Every few hours, sometimes minutes, he’d update with some stupid line. And in her mind, she was like, ‘He has time for all this Twittering, but he can’t send me a text, an email, make a call?’ ”

When Jennifer confronted John about his behavior, he had no choice but to admit he had been avoiding her. An inside source, who MUST be one of John’s followers, added to Britain’s Star magazine: “He didn’t even deny it. He knew he was avoiding her. So, when she called him on it and ended things, he just said OK, and that he was sorry it didn’t work out. He took the break-up like a man.” You have to wonder how stupid he is. Or lazy. I mean, if you’d rather tweet than take the time to break up with someone, how lazy or selfish do you have to be? Let’s hope the third breakup is the charm for these two, shall we?

Photo: PacificCoastNews.com