Well I think we are talking about the metaphoric drug using term, not the actual non-grease pit clean term. The word on the street, probably spread by a well-meaning publicist, is that Greasy Doherty is still in rehab, almost clean, and about to make friends again with his dad. This moment having been said before by Daddy Doherty that it would not happen unless Pete was sober. But supposably he’s getting his stuff together (probably just so that he can hide the crack) and wants to be a son to his dad and a dad to his son. Yes, you read that right, Pete Doherty has actually helped to populate the planet and his spawn’s name is Astile. And Pit’s manager said something about him ‘seeing a future without drugs’. What are we talking about like, in the next hour or something? How far ahead are we looking? Because personally, well you know what they say, it ain’t over until – and no, I don’t hear the fat lady singing yet. But keep your ears peeled, or not, do we really care?

And just when you think, or hope, that you have forgotten all about Pete Doherty, he pops right back into the picture doesn’t he? This time his greasy name is being connected to Amy Winehouse. Besides the fact that they are rumored to have a sexual history, reports are just coming in that he was somehow connected to her recent crash and burn that landed her in the hospital. But where was he in all of this? Earlier that night he had dinner with her and her hubby and ended up in the party *cough cough CRACK* fest back at the hotel. But as soon as the drugs sort of ‘got to her’, you know, when it reached the foaming at the mouth point, he hit the low road and didn’t want to have anything to do with it. Because you know, it would be a shame to muddy up his angelic name and give him some bad publicity. Sorry Petey, honey, I think your halo was traded in QUITE some time ago.

Oh good lord. I mean, I have to say I am so thrilled that my most recent meal has been almost completely digested by now or we would have a problem. Kate Moss has somehow, someway, been convinced to go running back into greasy Pete Doherty’s arms. I wonder if he drugged her or something. Guess she finally got to talking to him when on her girl vacay in Spain. You know, the one where she was supposed to be using to take her mind off of him? Once that can of worms got opened, a flood unleashed. All of her people, family included, are just horrified. Well, aren’t we all. They have been reuniting at Claridge’s for a few days now while he sorts out those pesky crack and heroin charges. And while they have been good at doing the back and forth thing solo to avoid talk, the cat is out of the bag now. She’s even said that she would move to a deserted island with him so everyone would leave them alone about it. Well, you know, that may be the first smart thing she’s said in a while, cuz it’s not that bad an idea. Until that happens, I am waiting for the report that she’s living off the crack pipe as well. That would be the only logical explanation I can accept for any of this.

Oh dear god, where do I even start with this one. Pete Doherty has resurfaced from his grease pit to make an appearance at court and discover his consequences. The end result is either jail or rehab, his choice. So he’s got about a month to prove he’s “thought about what he’s done” and take it from there. To show how committed he was to his recovery he entered a whopping FIVE day rehab program at the end of July. Not only that, but his drug test following rehab showed traces of drugs in his system. Good work they do there, I tell you. His bail order also states he is not allowed to go near London (and everywhere Londoners thank Heaven for answered prayers!). He couldn’t even show decency as he left the court. He left before the judge had finished speaking (nice!) to which his posse yelled out ‘stop showing off’ or something WAY cool like that. Leaving the courthouse he blew kisses to his fans and hand gestures to the paps (even nicer!). I am sure there’s more, but I’ve just eaten and this is about all the Pete Doherty I can handle right now. Here he is with the paps, the best thing about this pic is you can’t see much of his face. What a LOSER.

Kate Moss is mortified. Well, I mean besides the fact that she became enfianced to a complete crack smoking cheating grease pig, she has other problems. Oops! Misplaced a few sex tapes! I guess there was a total of 8 (eesh, trying to keep my last meal where it belongs) and 2 are floating out there ‘somewhere’. She’s worried he is going to sell them or something. Good god, who is going to WATCH those? Someone pay me to stay as far away from them as possible. Please, Kate Moss or no, the thought of McNasty Doherty with less clothes on than I am normally required to see him in just makes my cookies toss. Oh and how does one just lose sex tapes I ask? Kinda something I’d be keeping an eye on if it was me (praise heaven it’s not). Give your head a shake girl. You SHOULD be embarrassed!

Wow! Is it just me or does he keep getting more and more sexy! rOoar too hot for me… Pete CRACK smoking, pill popping, needle injecting Doherty plead guilty once again to drug related charges.

Shortly beforehand, Ms Lachhar [the judge] had issued a warrant for his arrest. “This is a court of law,” the judge said. “He should have been here at 9.30am, and he isn’t. I am giving a warrant with no bail.”

When the hearing eventually started, a seemingly emotional Doherty wept when he was told he could face a jail sentence and struggled to give his new address, eventually doing so through his lawyer.

He pleaded guilty to charges of possessing quantities of crack cocaine, heroin, cannabis and ketamine – “quite a selection” of drugs, the judge said – and to two driving offences. He also admitted an extra charge of failing to appear in court without reasonable excuse.

He does Special K, too? What doesn’t this Jack of all trades dabble in!? By the looks of things, he also like Jazz music… this could be a good thing, it might distract him from his drug habit. Pete’s spotted leaving the Jazz After Dark Club. He’ll need a place to crash for the night though since Kate Moss’ changed the locks on him. Anyone have a free couch?