Hollywood Flashback: John Stamos, Gene Simmons Recall Insane 1986 Bomb 'Never Too Young to Die'

He plays a playboy grandpa on Fox’s Grandfathered, but in 1986, John Stamos was a hunky spy facing off against Gene Simmons — in drag.

The movie was Never Too Young to Die, a low-budget campfest that Stamos — then 22 and still a year away from being cast in ABC’s Full House — mistakenly thought would be his ticket to movie stardom.

In it, the Kiss bassist plays “evil hermaphrodite” Velvet Von Ragner, who kills Stamos’ secret-agent father (George Lazenby, spoofing his one-off role as James Bond). Stamos’ character, prep-school senior Lance Stargrove, avenges his dad’s death with the help of secret agent Danja Deering, played by Vanity (of Prince fame). 

“I had to shave and wax my chest, wear a prosthetic set of boobs and all sorts of other indignities…

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